We may not realize it, but conflicts between people has been present since the start of mankind. Indeed, we have progressed tremendously since then, but interpersonal conflicts still exists as a problem in every era and every society to date. But are these conflicts necessarily negative? No doubt in many cases, conflicts result in resentment, or hostility between the parties involved. But if handled properly, it could lead to a better mutual understanding and even improve interpersonal relationships.
There are many ways of approaching interpersonal relationships. For example, some may choose to indulge in denial, and refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem. Though this method may be appropriate at times, more often than not, it only leaves the problem untouched, with the potential of leading to further tension and conflict. Another common way of dealing with conflicts is when anger comes in. People tend to confuse anger with conflict, when in fact, the two are very much different entities. Trying to solve conflicts with anger is like adding fuel to fire. The only purpose anger serves is to amplify the problem, resulting in even more friction between the parties.
So, what is the ‘correct’ way to resolve conflicts? To be honest, there is no one fixed solution to all conflicts, but however, there are some universal steps that can be taken to at least approach conflicts in the right direction, to minimize the chances of the conflict going out of control.
Step 1:
To begin, parties involved must view the conflict that is to be solved mutually, and actively participate in the discussion to come up with a compromise that is as fair as possible for the parties involved.
Step 2:
During the actual discussion to resolve the conflict, it is important to stay composed, and view the whole situation objectively. Do not be too caught up with immediate self interests and disregard the position of the other party.
Step 3:
Lastly, always stay positive and look at the big picture. The issue at hand might or might not be worth damaging the relationship. Hence, sometimes there may be advantages in being gracious and taking a step back.
As the saying goes, prevention is better than cure, and that is every bit true when it comes to interpersonal relationships. This is where effective communication skills would play a part. Being able to relate to others, and understanding them, would enable you to make appropriate changes to your words or actions before they become a source of conflict.
To end off, i would say that knowing how to resolve interpersonal conflicts is definitely a plus point in any field of work, enabling us to work harmoniously with our peers and friends.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Andy,
ReplyDeleteI think you have done a great job in writing this post.It is clear and short.It also clearly describes what conflict is about and the steps to resolving conflict.What i would like to say is maybe you can consider adding in a few examples to your post.It may be real life examples or imaginary.Adding in examples will surely make your post more interesting and more fun to read.Great job on the facts though.
Regards,
Joon Wai.
Hi Andy,
ReplyDeleteI think that the way of solving conflicts u wrote is quite unique, but it will work if both of the parties are willing to discuss together and work somethings out. If one of the person don't even want to speak or see the other person, the steps won't work. In some serious conflict, both parties just don't wan to speak with other, they just want to hate their opponent.
But still, I agree with Joon Wai that you done a great job in presenting your point in a good and conceive way. On the other hand, i also agree with Joon Wai that you should put some example in your blog to make it interesting to read, instead of reading all the facts and knowledge.
Dear Andy,
ReplyDeleteI think Jeisern has a pretty good point about the other party refusing to talk to us when we have a conflict. In this case, it would be very difficult to resolve the conflict using the technique that you have mentioned in your post as we would have trouble communicating. The other party is simply refusing to accept our messages.
What I think could be done in this scenario is to employ humor. By making the other party laugh, we could hopefully get him out of the shell that he has built around himself. Then, we could be able to communicate better and hopefully resolve the conflict.
You mentioned that preventing conflicts is better than curing it and I am in agreement. However, we require practice resolving conflicts in order to improve our conflict management skills. It is simply not enough for us to just read about theories about conflict management. We require lifelong practice to hone this life skill.
Overall, I think that your post is pretty good, with concise and clear points.
Regards,
Russell
Hi Andy
ReplyDeleteThe points you mentioned are all very relevant. I would just like to highlight the point where you mentioned that it is important to stay composed and view the whole situation objectively. I feel that this the one of the most important step to remember especially if you are personally involved in the conflict. But sadly this is also one of the most difficult thing to do during the heat of the moment. Various techniques such as counting to ten before speaking or taking a deep breath can be used applied to enable us to remain in control of the situation.
A very informative post with clear points.
Regards
Corn